When His Wallet is Empty So is His Worth: Nigerian Masculinity, Unemployment & Mental Health
Nigeria is known for its bustling youth population; however, we hardly mention the lack of employment opportunities for said youth. Nigeria’s unemployment rate has hovered between 30–40% for young adults, and many more are underemployed, gig-hustling, or relying on family support.
In Nigeria today, unemployment is not just an economic crisis, it’s an emotional and psychological one. Beneath the headlines of rising inflation and shrinking job markets lies a quieter epidemic: the erosion of male self-worth. And for many Nigerian men, that erosion begins where their paycheck ends.
In a society where a man’s worth is often tied to his income, this puts immense pressure on Nigerian men to be financially buoyant to obtain love.
We’ve all heard things like:
“What’s a man without money?”
“Love doesn’t pay bills”
“Can he even afford my upkeep?”
The Cultural Contract of Masculinity
From a young age, Nigerian boys are taught, explicitly and implicitly, that to be a man is to provide. Provide for your mother, provide for your siblings, provide for your future wife and children.
This conditioning becomes your emotional blueprint. Your identity is tied not to who you are, but what you can give. The first question that is often asked about men is not what you look like but what do you do? And when unemployment or underemployment strikes, that blueprint question is hard to answer.
Another bruise to your ego.
The Silent Emotional Fallout to a Tumultuous Economy
What’s often left out of this conversation is how this economic reality quietly fuels depression, low self esteem, relationship sabotage, and emotional isolation.
You are hurting but you are conditioned not to say so. Depression is often masked as anger by lashing out to friends who refuse to send Urgent 2K. Envy slowly sweeps in as you see your cousin abroad who is your agemate buying a new car when you can hardly fuel yours. Or regret swallowing you whole since you left a great consulting job in London to consult in a smaller firm in Nigeria because you believed in the firm’s vision. Even, the emotional isolation of trying to make ends meet while deep down more than anything you want someone to come home to, but you can’t afford to feed the both of you right now. Here creeps in the relationship sabotage, driven by feelings of unworthiness since you cannot afford to buy your girlfriend the new wig she’s been sending photos of.
“If I Can’t Provide, I Don’t Deserve Love”
We’ve all heard:
“How can I think of love when I can’t feed myself?” or “No woman respects a poor man.”
The tragedy here isn’t just that unemployment strips men of income, it also strips them of their perceived eligibility for affection, partnership, and dignity.
So what do you do?
You break up with women you love, keep things casual with those you don’t, and perform indifference when conversations of marriage arise.
Not because you don’t crave connection - but because you’ve been taught that love is something a man must earn through provision, not something you inherently deserve.
The Cycle Killing Relationships
Man does not have a job or is being underpaid
He starts to feel worthless both professionally and personally
He pulls away from relationships to “focus on himself”
Women label him emotionally unavailable.
Society engrains that unemployment is inadequacy and inadequacy is unlovable.
It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy rooted in a culture that never taught men they are worthy of love even in their lack.
Masculinity That Leaves No Room for Growth
Nigerian masculinity has long been defined by performance: strength, success, stoicism. But what happens when life interrupts that performance?
What happens when:
You’ve applied to 45 jobs and heard nothing back
You have to depend on your girlfriend to cover dinner
You wake up each day wondering if you’re disappointing your family
What happens is a mental health crisis cloaked in masculinity.Thus, To truly love Nigerian men is to see them for who they are and not just what they give.
We need to teach:
That a man’s value is not solely in his wallet
That vulnerability is strength not shame
That love is built on trust and respect not gifts and trips
That men are worthy to be loved even while in transition
Men, you are more than your bank accounts.
Yours,Ziora Health
